The common axiom is that talking is living. Through talking with others, one expresses views, emotions, sentiments, and feelings about several things in life. A normal person in prime youth spends roughly 3 to 4 hours minimum in talking either at home or at the office or with friends. The more a person talks, the more he / she shares internal emotions and thereby gets lighter at heart.
That’s what psychologically we talk about trait of a person: an “extrovert” would like to talk more and that too freely while an “introvert” avoids interaction with others and keeps to himself / herself. This is not to say that introverts are inferior; they sometimes derive more energy from being alone or in smaller groups. But extroverts are often seen in social circles as confident, cheerful and socially more connected.
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Relevance for Elderly
This concept of being extrovert of talking more with others becomes more important for the elderly. As old age sets in, a sense of “helplessness” creeps being physically & mentally weaker and away from busy activities of life. Retirement from an active office life is one aspect. In addition, friend circle also keeps shrinking in size. Thus, loneliness results in elderly and they are often seen less talking and avoiding social gatherings. If this continues for a long time, depression sets in and might result in total withdrawal from active life. This depression, if continued for long time, might require clinical treatment as well.
The antidote to the above is to talk and talk to whomever you can. You can talk to your family members, friends, residents of the place where you stay or even to total strangers.
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Benefits of Talking
Research has shown that talking has several benefits both on physical as well as mental faculty of an individual. Some of these are as below:
Talking openly takes away the stress of life or at least mitigates their impact and intensity.
Talking improves the functioning of lungs and many other vital physical parameters.
Talking with friends reminds one of the joys of the past and re-energizes the mind.
It increases the sense of connectedness and thereby improves attitude towards life and enhances sense of happiness. It also augments self-esteem.
It reduces the sense of loneliness and relieves the stress arising out of depression and withdrawal syndrome.
Finally, talking helps to garner more friends and creates a sense of trust among the people who constantly interact. The happy hormone “Oxytocin” is often associated while we talk to our loved ones including friends.
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Thus, we see that there are several advantages to talking. The only disadvantages can be that you use extra energy by talking more and more and maybe that some people try to avoid you as you talk more. That’s quite natural and therefore, elders must not overdo anything including “over talking” so that you become acceptable.
Talking Habits and Enabling Environment
Talking power / strength often goes down with old age. It is on account of both physical waning (in terms of weakness of muscles) and cognitive decline (lesser comprehension or working memory). Research has also shown that many elders find the “background noise” or “talks by others” very annoying and distracting. Therefore, they sometimes tend to talk less and become quiet. Some elderly people go on rambling (uttering less understandable words) once again because of cognitive decline. Elders can also talk less if they have hearing problems. In extreme cases, elders may also develop “Dysphasia” which is the loss of ability to speak; this happens when part of the brain that is responsible for production of sound and meaning is damaged. Elders suffering from Parkinson’s are sometimes found to suffer from what is known as Dysarthria i.e., slurred or slow speech.
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However, the above are some of the extreme cases. We as elders must make it a point to understand that talking has great benefits to both “physical” as well as “mental wellbeing” and that its strength needs to be kept intact. Thus, elders should always try to make talking a habit.
Society also has a responsibility to create an enabling environment; this includes family set up. There can be a “talking time” every day where the family members spend time with their elders and encourage them to interact on topics the elders like. Same way, the school / college students should visit the old age homes or places where elders sit in silence and encourage them to talk. Helping and motivating the elders to talk is a great way whereby all of us can create a facilitating environment where elders can “talk and talk freely”.
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Strategies to Develop Speaking Habits
The elderly should also try to develop speaking habits. Some strategies in this regard can be as under:
They can join senior citizen groups or other types of associations / groups like walking groups, etc. that provide them an opportunity to meet and interact with people.
They should join some communication classes where they get an opportunity to communicate & interact with others.
They can try to do some community service by visiting some places; these provide excellent opportunities to meet people and interact with them.
If they are feeling lonely, they should come out and go to any crowded place like park, etc. They may find some new people and try to make friends with them. This type of approach enables elders to interact with new people and even make new friends.
If physical energy premises, they should try to get associated with some local schools or similar NGO ventures and share their experiences through storytelling.
Reading aloud from a book is one option that the elderly can experiment with if there is no possibility of going out and there is no one in the house to speak to.
In conclusion, we can say that elders must talk if they need to live happily. Constant talking by elders is an essential component of happy aging. Let’s create an environment where elders not only live with dignity but also can talk openly & freely.
By Dr A K Sen Gupta, Chief Trustee, My Retired Life Foundation (MRLF)
