I am a 36-year-old man suffering from premature ejaculation (PE) and this spoils our sex life. Please recommend a solution. VI, Warden Road
Ejaculating early is not a crime. It needs attention only if it causes emotional disturbances, making sex less enjoyable. Men feel low for not satisfying the partner. Women may feel dejected and suffer silently. Please note that medically the normal time between insertion of penis into the vagina to ejaculation is 1-3 minutes only. It is not as shown in pornographic videos. Reasons for PE are stress, high level of excitement, long window period, unrealistic expectations, physical illness, work pressures, etc. A few simple areas you can work on is to figure out your reason, if possible. Work on your physical fitness and follow a healthy diet. Increase frequency of intimacy. If it persists, you will do yourself and your lover the greatest favour by consulting a sexologist to treat PE. You may visit mydoctortells.com/pe for more information.
I am a 29-year-old woman in a live-in relationship. We have regular protected sex. But my partner does not like that. I don’t want to get pregnant till after marriage. What should I do? SB, Charkop
You are absolutely right. You cannot risk pregnancy for timely pleasure. If your partner really loves you, he should respect your choices, and should be responsible enough to understand the possible risks. In spite of you refusing, if he is pressuring you, you need to rethink your relationship with him. Unwanted pregnancy will take a toll in your life.
I am a 32-year-old woman who never wanted to get married. I did so on the insistence of my parents. However, I discovered I am sexually very frigid. My husband is very angry with me for that. What should I do? DM, Pune
Sex is something which a couple enjoys, giving and taking pleasure equally. You don’t have to do it by forcing yourself or under pressure. It is a natural desire which comes out of love for the partner. If you wish to continue the relationship, talk with your husband. You have to speak up your mind. Purchase some time and see if you can bond with him emotionally. Once you feel loved and secured with him, it will help you open up sexually, too. Right now you have closed yourself. Physical intimacy follows emotional connections automatically. Keeping silent and avoiding him are not the solutions. He feels hurt and it comes out as anger. So try spending platonic quality time together. It is wise to take the help of a professional at the right time.
Dr Hetal Gosalia Samadhan Health Studio. Queries may be sent to fpj.sexmatters@gmail.com
