Life is a continuous journey in the true sense with different phases with unique features and responsibilities. From innocence of childhood, one grows into an “adolescent and teen” when one thinks himself / herself as invincible and conqueror of the world. There are ups and downs there too; the upsets in academics or personal love life may mar a person’s mood but still he / she has to go on as he / she has already migrated to “phase of youth” with many more responsibilities. The youth phase of life has its own beauty and sorrows both in professional and personal life; but life does not stop, and we move on. Comes the “middle age” when for the first time, one starts taking a break to pause & reflect. It may, however, be too late, and the journey of life continues.
Onset of Elder Age
Classically, elderly age is defined as the time when one takes retirement from an active professional life; maybe attainment of around 60 years in many professions / jobs. However, there is plenty of time left after that. Retirement means leaving the space of official engagement making place for the next generation to carry the mantle. But that does not mean the spirit of life is over. By and large, barring unforeseen circumstances or exceptions, the “active life” continues more than a decade after formal retirement from a job, if not more than that, for most people. That’s a long time to live and live meaningfully.
Why Regret
This is one of the fallacies of life. The word “regret” means a feeling that “you did not do” compared to “what you wanted to” in the desired manner or “did not reach the goal” what “you wanted to achieve”: a feeling of dissatisfaction. This is related to past decisions and people possibly feeling bad about the “wrong choices or decisions” in life. It can be in any sphere, personal or professional. Possibly you wanted to become an engineer but could not because you scored less in 12th standard. You wanted to join a particular company but could not succeed in the final interview. You possibly missed some of the promotion chances and retired at much junior level and these hurt as feelings of regret.
All these regrets are futile as nothing can be undone. Life is a game of probability, decisions and consequences and nothing beyond that. Outcomes, as expected or anticipated, may never happen and therefore, regrets will not lead us anywhere.
There is another side to the argument as well. Students with less marks at 12th standard are not necessarily unsuccessful in professional life; good life may be cut short by any medical or accidental events. What its means is that life is highly unpredictable, and we cannot change the course of life and live it as it comes. The word “regret” in this parlance possibly does not exist.
Live a Beautiful Life
The lesson, therefore, is that elders must not regret but live the remaining period of life meaningfully and productively. There are so many things that can be learnt and done even at this age within the constraints of physical and mental limitations that the world can be proud of. One can travel as one likes; one can eat & drink as one choses; one can make friends as one feels like; one can start a new business, commercial or social and spend time fruitfully; one can enjoy life every day by new learning or experimentation. Ups and down will come and go like “passing clouds”; the philosophy should be that “this will also pass”. Once the elders start living life meaningfully and happily despite all events of the past and forget regretting about the past, life will be much more beautiful. There is much more to live and enjoy the beauty of life rather than regretting the past under-achievements or non-fulfillments. Life then becomes a pleasurable journey.
This article is written by Dr A K Sen Gupta, Chief Trustee, My Retired Life Foundation (MRLF).
