Does The Place Of Stay Really Matter For An Elderly?

It has often been a debated issue. Some people say that all problems elderly face are because of disintegration of large joint family system and so on. It is argued that in earlier days, elders used to stay in “golden homes of their families” and had a great time. It is as if all the problems of the elderly were taken care of by the young generation. May be so but not anymore. Research by HelpAge India reveals the other deadly side: more than 60 percent of elder abuses are by the close family members including sons, daughters in laws and daughters and other extended family members. Thus, the concept of “golden homes of family members” may no longer be cozy; rather the break-up of the joint family system has given new options and opportunities beyond the traditional thinking of staying with children and grandchildren.

What Are the Other Options:

With the evolution of societal progress, several options are available for the elderly now they can play with. Some of these include:

Own house (staying independently): Elders can choose to stay independently in their own homes without children. The elderly couple can enjoy their lives as they wish. Sometimes, it may be needed to move out of a large house and move to a smaller abode as maintenance becomes easier. In case the elder is in financial needs, he / she may go in for “reverse mortgage” i.e. renting out own house against mortgage from a bank.

Rented house (staying independently): Own house has its own issues. The elderly may, therefore, decide to stay in a rented place where the hassles are less.

Special complexes that have come out at various cities meant exclusively for elderly people. Some of these provide good options.

Old age homes of the type that an elder would like to live in including their affordability. There are plenty of options in this context.

Ashrams in religious places: good option for many.

It must always be appreciated that all options have their own pros and cons. And “realities” are different from “perceptions” some of which can be understood after only spending some time at a given place or in other words after “experimenting with the experience”. But there is nothing wrong with the experimentation. The new options allow the elderly to come out of the “zone of dependence on others” and live a “self-driven life” that has its own beauties and benefits. In our traditional thinking, youngsters are always told to do something more diverse than usual and think & do differently. Same is true for elders as well particularly in the current context; everything lies in thinking. The elderly must think of their own and take risks. They need to live a life of their own choice.

Bottom Line

The bottom line is where one is happy. Place of stay is not important; the more crucial aspect is where one feels more comfortable and can enjoy it more. One should not bother about what others feel or say. It is more important what we as elders feel and think. We must realize that it is our life, and we need to live it as “we like” and not as per the “wish of others”. we often see that many in India live for others for whole of their life without thinking about themselves. At least, old age provides an option to live for oneself, think of their free will and do as per own wish. The place of stay, in this context, becomes important. We may live with others but then again may have to live according to their wishes. Why not choose a place to live as you like so that you can live as you like as well.

This article is written by By Dr A K Sen Gupta, Chief Trustee, My Retired Life Foundation (MRLF).