Starting from today, noted sexologist Dr Hetal Gosalia will reply every Sunday to questions pertaining to sex problems.
We have been married for 14 years and we had an active and satisfying sex life. However, of late, my wife is not showing any interest in sex. In fact, she has taken a strong dislike for it. Please advise. – SG, Cuffe Parade
A few common reasons for lack of interest in female partners after 14 years of marriage could be hormonal changes (irregular periods, perimenopause), inter-personal relationship issues, professional/personal life stress and/or anxiety. So, talk to her and listen to her. Take a break from routine life and spend quality time with each other. Remember: For a woman to be loved and cuddled matters equally as sexual intercourse.
I have been married for the past one year. My problem is that my husband is obsessed with pornography. He insists on me watching porn on his laptop every night and doing the kind of things shown on the screen. I find it disgusting. What should I do? – GB, Chembur
The general male psyche related to sex is that each man dreams of a crazy sex life. Pornography is the material in hand to see and learn from an early age. Some dream of having such sex life as shown in it. You must talk to him as to what you like and what you dislike. Do not force yourself into any act where your heart disagrees. If you feel pressured a lot, figure out if he has obsessive-compulsive behaviours in other areas of life too. If yes, you should consult a qualified professional for the same. Remember, communication at the right time in life is the key to a happy marriage life.
I am a 28 year old woman and am scheduled to get married soon. It’s an arranged marriage. Frankly, I do not know anything about sex. Are there any centres where I can get counselling about sex? – AR, Khar (W)
Yes. There are centres for sex counselling where you are guided on the topic and all your queries are answered. You can check out our website too, mydoctortells.com/pmsa where we have tried to explain in as much detail as possible the situation you are facing. Remember, you are like many with the same queries in mind. Please know your body, and understand what you like and/or dislike before entering into a lifelong commitment with anyone.
Dr Hetal Gosalia, Samadhan Health Studio. Queries may be sent to fpj.sexmatters@gmail.com
