We’ve all heard it-“Don’t start your day by looking at your phone!” Whether it’s your parents giving advice or wellness coaches on social media, the message is consistent. Multiple theories surround this habit including the one where you should not have a phone besides you while sleeping because the radiation from the phone network might disrupt your sleep and so on. But have you ever paused to ask why this is such a strongly recommended habit?
Author and behavioral change expert Mel Robbins, during her conversation with Oprah Winfrey on The Oprah Podcast, shed some light on this very topic. Her take? Your phone doesn’t belong in your bedroom-period.
Its a trap
It might seem harmless to check your notifications or scroll through social media as soon as you wake up and are not even out of your bed, but Robbins argues that this habit is mentally and emotionally disruptive. "The alarm goes off, and before you’re even vertical, you’ve handed over your peace of mind to emails, Instagram, and the latest world headlines," she explained.
This early exposure to external demands and stimuli immediately shifts your brain into a reactive state. Instead of starting your day with calm or intention, your mind is flooded with stressors that aren’t even yours to begin with. That means you become the last priority, before you’ve even left the bed.
The stress response kicks in
According to Robbins, grabbing your phone in the morning can activate your fight-or-flight response. This means your body goes into a state of mild stress, heart rate increases, your thoughts race, and you begin the day feeling tense rather than refreshed. We never think of the consequences these little habits can have on our body but if you begin observing it consciously, you will realise how all the information and messages on your phone take away your personal moments of peace, right in the morning.
And, this time with yourself, in the morning, should be one of the most peaceful time where you plan your day, get into self-care and just spend that required quality time with yourself, whether its journaling, exercise or reading a book.
This habit not only delays the time it takes to actually get out of bed, but it can also fuel morning anxiety. You may feel overwhelmed, even if nothing major has happened yet.
The link between morning anxiety and past trauma
Here’s where things get deeper. Robbins explained that many people experience heightened anxiety in the morning due to stored trauma in the brain. If you grew up in an environment with chaos-like emotional abuse, poverty, racism, or any kind of instability, your brain learned to be on high alert early in the day.
This means that even now, as an adult, waking up can trigger those old survival instincts. And when you add a flood of notifications, news, and social media updates right away, it intensifies that sense of panic and lack of control.
Keep your phone out of the bedroom
Instead of sleeping with your phone by your bedside, Robbins recommends charging it in the bathroom or another room entirely. This small change creates a buffer between waking up and diving into the digital world. It allows your mind to ease into the day without external pressure.
You could use this extra space for a few deep breaths, a stretch, or a few minutes of journaling-activities that ground you rather than drain you.
