Book: This book won't teach you parenting, but it will make you a better parent
Authors: Riri G Trivedi & Anagha Nagpal
My Rating: 4.5/5
PARENTING BEYOND RULES
Parenting can't always be a bed of roses, and more often than not, it comes with its own share of ups and downs.
This book by Riri G Trivedi and Anagha Nagpal guides you on a journey toward positive and inclusive parenting. Also, it gently reminds you that it's okay to not have it all figured out – after all, you're a human too.
The authors, both psychotherapists and parent educators, also share real-life experiences from their practice, offering a first-hand account of parenting struggles.
There are no 'blame games' or the 'rights and the wrongs' in this book, but a beautiful concept of 'mutual healing', which includes healing your inner child too.
The chapters thoughtfully cover a slew of topics like childhood traumas, scars of toxic shame, emotional abuse, and the challenges parents face.
What makes this book stand out is that it not only helps you understand a situation as a 'concept' but also through a broader lens of 'psychological perspective'.
Each chapter ends with a valuable 'self-reflection for parents' section – a Q&A for yourself that encourages introspection.
As you finish reading this book, one thing is for sure - this book won't teach you parenting, but it surely will make you a better parent!
Parenting insights with authors
Q: Common parenting mistake?
RIRI: When parents have unresolved marital issues, kids learn to manipulate and disconnect from them. To avoid this, parents should align their thought process and resolve conflicts.
ANAGHA: Trying to 'fix' behavior without understanding its root cause. Reflect on what's driving the behavior and address it with empathy.
Q: How can parents address growing intolerance among kids?
R: Intolerance often stems from permissive parenting, where children are given everything on a silver platter. This creates a delusion that the world will cater to their every demand, leading to a harsh reality check. To combat this, teach children patience and tolerance from a young age.
A: Instead of giving in to tantrums, acknowledge their feelings and trust them to cope with frustration.
Q: Game-changing parenting habit?
R: Prioritise mental health and practice self-regulation as a family. Children learn by observing, so it's essential for parents to model healthy habits like yoga, meditation, or other mindfulness practices. Remember, kids watch, learn, and grow by seeing their parents practice what they preach.
A: Notice and appreciate the good things your child does. Share specific, genuine praise, especially at bedtime, to build connection and trust.
Q: Advice for parents?
R: Don't seek perfection in parenting. Children are individuals, not projects. Enjoy the journey, with its highs and lows. Savour every stage!!
A: You don't need all the answers. Involve your child in finding solutions and listen closely. They often just need to feel heard and supported.
