Riddhima Kapoor Sahni talks about readying older sibling for arrival of new baby

The arrival of the new baby is a happy occasion for any family. Everyone’s excitedly waiting for the little one to grace their home with his/her presence. Toys and clothes are being purchased, the room is redecorated, and the home is made baby-proof, among other things. Amidst all the chaos, there’s one person that sometimes feels left out — the older sibling.

If you have a child and are expecting baby number two, the first thing any parent should do is pay equal attention to the older child. I am sure parents are already nervous about how their older one, more so if it’s a toddler, would react to the newborn.

To counter any sort of insecurity that the child might feel, I feel it is important to teach the child what it means to have a sibling. Toddlers will not understand much about what the frenzy is about. You have to engage them in your conversations and explain what his/her role would be when the newborn arrives. Prepare your child for what’s coming. Share your excitement with the child, who may not understand it at first, but eventually, it’ll rub off on him/her. They will soon start mimicking the parents, they too will be enthusiastic about the newborn, and partake in the celebration.

Always remember, they will feel jealous, especially if they are the only child in the family on both sides. The child might feel that his share of love and attention will now get divided and might not want a sibling. All this is normal. But, parents should calm the child and talk to him/her about how it doesn’t change the love they have for him in any way.

Parents should involve the child in looking after the newborn. Allot certain ‘baby duties’ to the child like keeping the newborn company, picking out clothes or toys for the newborn… Little things like these will make the child feel important and like an older sibling. Let your child hold the newborn under adult supervision so that s/he feels like a responsible older sibling. Praise your child when they do their bit in looking after the newborn.

What parents can also do is, don’t completely draw attention to the newborn. If one parent is occupied with the baby, the other parent or a family member can spend time with the older child. This will ensure that s/he doesn’t feel neglected because of the baby. Set aside time for your older child; spend more time if need be. Play games, read books, paint, draw, or listen to music… engage in activities with your older child. Sometimes, toddlers will take time to adjust to sudden changes that might happen due to the arrival of the baby.

Ask your friends and family also to spend a little more time with the older child when they visit your place to meet the newborn. Request them to get gifts for the older child also if they are getting presents for the newborn.

Reassurance is quite important here. Ensure that your older child doesn’t feel left out. Tell your child that you love both of them equally. Keep telling your child that you love him/her immensely. Nipping in the bud any kind of resentment towards the baby in the mind of the older sibling is important. This needs to be carefully and subtly taken care of by the parents.

(Riddhima Kapoor Sahni is a jewellery designer, and daughter of veteran actors Rishi Kapoor and Neetu Kapoor)