Raksha Bandhan 2025: How Adoption & Remarriage Are Changing The Meaning Of Siblinghood

Ananya was 12 years old when she was told she'd be sharing her room with a new sister—one who was not born to her parents—her first reaction was a mixture of suspicion and curiosity. Back then, in 2013, her family had (adopted) a baby girl named Maya from a shelter in Pune. That evening marked the beginning of a relationship that would grow from quiet hesitation to fierce protectiveness. “She’s still annoying sometimes,” she laughs and tells, “but she’s also the first person I text for everything.”

As families evolve beyond the traditional nuclear mould, the idea of what it means to be a sibling is changing. Step-siblings, adopted siblings, foster siblings—even donor-conceived or surrogacy-linked siblings—are becoming part of the modern Indian family.

More layers

In the most recent fiscal year (FY 2024-25), India saw a record number of child adoptions, with 4,515 children finding families, according to the PIB. This includes 4,155 domestic adoptions, indicating a positive trend in acceptance of legal adoption within the country. This adoption number is reportedly the highest since the 2015-16 period. The actual number—counting informal and intra-family adoptions—is believed to be significantly higher. Add to this the rise in remarriages and co-parenting setups, and the sibling equation begins to resemble a carefully negotiated space.

“Today, blended and adoptive families are increasingly common, but that doesn't mean the journey is easy,” says therapist Deepti Chandy and COO, Anna Chandy & Associates. She often counsels families where children from previous marriages are brought together under one roof, or where adopted children are introduced into biological sibling setups.

“There’s a family I worked with where one child was adopted and the other was biological. Initially, there was a lot of tension between the two. What helped shift the dynamic was when the parents took a step back and allowed the siblings to co-create a ritual—in their case, a weekly ice cream trip. Over time, these shared moments helped them move past surface-level friction. They began to appreciate each other’s individuality and eventually became protective of one another, not just at home, but even at school and on the playground,” she shares.

For many non-biological siblings, the hardest battles are fought outside, in school corridors and extended family gatherings. Constant questions like “Are you real siblings?” “Is that your stepbrother or half-brother?”—these casual questions, often born out of ignorance rather than malice, leave scars.

At times, when children in blended or adoptive families jostle for space—both emotional and literal—their battles often go beyond toys or attention. Sibling rivalry is a natural part of childhood, but in families shaped by adoption, remarriage, or co-parenting, these tensions often come with deeper emotional stakes. Unlike traditional families, where rivalry is rooted in familiarity, children in blended households may be vying for reassurance.

“In blended or adoptive families, children are often trying to find their place in a new emotional and relational structure. Rivalry in these cases may stem not just from typical developmental stages but also from feelings of insecurity, belonging, or perceived favouritism. Parents sometimes try too hard, over-nurturing one child, being extra cautious, or using labels like ‘real’ or ‘step,’ which can highlight differences. These subtleties matter and can feed into underlying tensions,” Chandy highlights.

Love & learning

In a blended family with (step) siblings of four, Raell Padamsee reflects on the journey growing up as fun, with strong bonding among us. “All of us have been involved in the creative arts in some form. My older brother Ranjit worked in film, television, and theatre abroad; Shahzan has done film and a bit of theatre; and I’ve done a lot of theatre myself. So, everyone would show up—not just to support, but to be together. That spirit came largely from my father, who was very intentional about making our blended family feel like one unit. He spent a lot of time with each of us—individually and collectively—and encouraged connection.”

Based between Mumbai and New York, the family includes four siblings—Ranjit, Quasar, Shahzan, and Raell—each with a significant age gap between them. “Once we all reached a certain age, there was a deep sense of connection and common ground that brought us close,” Raell adds. “My father, in particular, nurtured that bond in a very thoughtful way. For instance, on his birthday, he made it a point to celebrate with his children—just the kids and him—because he cherished that dedicated time with us.”

Introducing a new sibling—through adoption, remarriage, or fostering—is not just a logistical event, but an emotional one. It changes family rituals, sleeping patterns, and even how holidays are celebrated. Chandy recalls a case where the mother, who remarried, worked closely with her new husband to build a relationship with her children. “Instead of trying to assume the role of a parent immediately, he spent time simply being present—showing up, listening, creating memories. Over time, the children began to trust him. Today, they sometimes go to him first when they're struggling. That trust was built, intentionally and patiently.”

In blended families, sibling relationships can often begin with friction, especially when dynamics like adoption or differing parental ties are involved. But sometimes, it’s the smallest shared rituals that pave the way for connection. “One of the most memorable traditions was the annual Christmas party at my dad’s home. His building was called Christmas Eve. It was a massive bash filled with theatre people, ad folks—easily 200 people on the terrace. Each of us siblings would bring our gang of friends, making it a celebration that was both personal and electric. It was these moments that shaped our shared memories and closeness,” Raell recalls.

One of the most powerful tools families have is the creation of shared rituals. Something as simple as a weekly ice cream outing, game night, or bedtime story can go a long way in helping siblings build trust and familiarity.

‘Real’ sibling?

Labels become loaded. Even terms like ‘half-sibling’ or ‘stepbrother’ carry an implicit distancing. Children internalise these as ranks. It sends a message that some bonds are more valid than others. “In my work, I've seen how parents, often with the best intentions, can unknowingly contribute to this tension. For instance, they might overcompensate to make an adopted child feel welcome, or use phrases like ‘my child’ in ways that emphasise difference rather than unity,” she highlights.

And yet, there’s a quiet shift underway. Young adults, especially in urban and semi-urban India, are beginning to adopt language that reflects emotional connection over biological fact. The goal is to foster shared experiences that aren’t forced but feel natural and inclusive. In households shaped by adoption or remarriage, it’s not uncommon for children to quietly wonder love, care and belonging.

And one of the most crucial aspects happens when one is trying to understand their family tree, this becomes even more crucial when adoptive siblings are involved. “A helpful approach is to be open about the family’s origin story, not in a clinical way, but with honesty and warmth. ‘This is how we became a family, and we chose to be one.’ That framing can be incredibly affirming,” she guides. More families are also turning to counselling—not only for the child, but as a family unit. Family therapy, especially in adoptive or remarried households, creates a safe zone where members get the chance to speak, be heard, and feel validated. “It can be vital for children, especially in blended setups, where emotions can easily go unspoken or misunderstood.

In India, there's often a deep cultural emphasis on the idea of ‘khoon ka rishta’—that blood ties are paramount, that they hold more weight than any other bond. Though often tossed off lightly, phrases like these reveal a deeper, collective discomfort with kinship that doesn’t follow a genetic pattern. “It’s not unique to India, though the cultural language here makes it more visible,” Chandy tells. “These subtle reminders can unintentionally reinforce the idea that love or belonging is conditional, which can be very isolating for adopted or stepchildren. It’s important to reframe that narrative: love, care, and loyalty in families are built, not inherited.”