FPJ Interview: Dr Srinath Sridharan On Parenting Beyond Presence And Understanding Aging And Emotional Distance VIDEO

In this thought-provoking interview of Parenting Beyond Presence, Dr. Srinath Sridharan delves into the subtle yet profound emotional shifts that occur as both parents and children age. As families grow older, physical presence alone is no longer enough—emotional connection becomes more complex, and often, more distant. Dr. Sridharan offers a compassionate and insightful perspective on why emotional gaps form between aging parents and their adult children, and what can be done to bridge them.

Aging India: Who Will Care for Our Elderly?
Dr. Srinath Sridharan speaks to Afrida Rahman Ali on the vanishing culture of caregiving and the need to plan for an aging population

By Afrida Rahman Ali, Executive Editor, Free Press Journal

In a deeply reflective and urgent conversation, Dr. Srinath Sridharan — author, columnist, and strategic counsel to leading corporates — discusses with me the growing crisis of elderly care in India. With over 20% of the population expected to be above 60 years in the next 15 years, he warns of a looming caregiving disaster if policies and mindsets don’t evolve fast.

This episode of our podcast Nature & Nurture, usually centred on parenting, takes a necessary detour to explore what happens when the parents become the ones needing care. What follows is a powerful call to action for individuals, families, and the state.

Q: Dr. Sridharan, we often call India a young country. But are we prepared for how quickly that reality is going to shift?

Yes, currently two-thirds of India is under 35. But in the next 15 years, 20% of our population will be over 60. The idea of India’s demographic dividend might well turn into a demographic disaster. We simply do not have the social infrastructure — financial, physical, or emotional — to handle this change.

Q: Why do you believe caregiving, not hospitals, is the bigger crisis?

We can build high-end hospitals, but caregiving happens at home. Who will provide daily support to the elderly? Especially those who are bedridden, emotionally isolated, or cognitively impaired. Caregiving requires trained staff, emotional intelligence, and time — none of which we are currently investing in as a country.

Q: You’ve spoken about a trust deficit in health insurance. Can you elaborate?

Absolutely. Health insurance penetration in India is less than 4%. Even those with insurance face delays or denials in payouts. Families find it hard to trust that their expenses will be covered. So when healthcare becomes unaffordable and unpredictable, many just avoid it altogether.

Q: We’ve also seen the breakdown of the joint family system. How does that affect elderly care?

The joint family once absorbed emotional and physical caregiving. Now we have nuclear families — even dysfunctional single-unit families. With 30% of India urbanizing rapidly, city life is expensive, healthcare access is uneven, and adult children often live far from their aging parents. The result? Everyone feels emotionally suffocated, and the elderly feel abandoned.

Q: Do you see solutions in silver communities or elderly housing projects?

Yes, there’s promise. Places like Pune and Coorg have begun creating full-fledged senior living communities with farming, medical care, and social infrastructure. But these are expensive. Unless such models become mainstream and affordable — via public-private partnerships and policy support — it will remain an elitist solution.

Q: What role does mindset play in how we treat old-age homes?

A big one. In Indian culture, sending parents to a care home is often seen as punishment. But as society has evolved — from inter-caste marriages becoming acceptable to women working outside — we need a similar cultural shift around elderly housing. Mainstream media can play a big role in normalizing this.

Q: What about the middle class, the biggest segment of India? Where do they stand in this conversation?

They are the most neglected. Policies cater to the very poor or the very rich. Middle-class Indians are left to fend for themselves — paying taxes, managing rising costs, and shouldering multigenerational care. We need policies that create middle-income geriatric housing, health schemes, and caregiver networks.

Q: And what about women — especially working women — who bear the caregiving burden?

That’s a crucial point. Women often put careers on hold for parenting, and again later for elderly care. Their own health and financial independence suffer. We need to protect their time, provide backup systems, and invest in preventive health — for them and the elders they care for.

Q: In terms of policy, what urgent changes do we need?

We must build a national corpus for elder care. Just like we invested in universities and colleges, we now need to invest in caregiving infrastructure. Think of retirement homes with medical units, geriatric-friendly designs, and financial tie-ups with hospitals. Even simple things — like anti-skid flooring, emotional therapy access, and diet-specific catering — matter.

Q: What is the big question families must ask when it comes to succession planning and old age?

The question is — who will care for you when you’re old? Especially if you don’t want to burden your children. In affluent families, succession planning must be tied to care agreements. But most families need societal safety nets. As I often say, we need to transform India’s “demographic dividend” into a “strategic strength” — not a future full of abandoned elders.

Q: Finally, what’s your message to the next generation?

Don’t assume you will be taken care of. Plan. Save. Discuss. And don’t be ashamed if you need help — it’s human. If we normalize caregiving and invest in it — emotionally and financially — we can age with dignity. But we must start today.

Afrida Rahman Ali is the Executive Editor of Free Press Journal and host of the podcast Nature & Nurture.

Dr. Srinath Sridharan is an author, columnist, and public policy advocate. His recent book The A to Z of Succession Planning explores intergenerational family and business strategy in a changing India.