What Is Banksying? New Toxic Breakup Trend That Hurts More Than Ghosting

Ever had a partner slowly drift away – no fight, no explanation, just growing distance? If yes, you might've been Banksyed. This toxic dating trend is the latest to emerge from the complicated world of modern relationships, and experts say it might be even more emotionally damaging than ghosting.

What is Banksying?

The term "Banksying" is inspired by the mysterious street artist Banksy, whose works emerge and vanish unexpectedly. It describes a breakup strategy in which one partner gradually distances themselves over time without ever having a direct conversation about the breakup. The relationship fades slowly, hidden by a mask of normality, until the final break occurs, often many months later.

Breakup expert Amy Chan explained to USA Today, "Banksying is more common now, particularly due to the increasing number of dating apps, where people have developed poor dating etiquette."

Unlike ghosting, which is abrupt, Banksying is a slow fade. The person gradually reduces communication, intimacy, and availability while still pretending everything is fine, leaving the other partner blindsided when it's finally over.

Chan added, "The individual who is withdrawing has the opportunity to process the breakup on their own terms before giving the memo to the other person, who is left in complete shock."

Why it's toxic

"Banksying is backpedalling while you breadcrumb into a slow fade. You are gradually ending the connection, but you won’t be held accountable or guilty. It does not allow for closure, and it does not allow for communication," expressed Susan Winter, another relationship expert, as reported by FOX 5 New York.

This silent emotional withdrawal leaves the victims confused and second-guessing themselves. Are things okay? Is it just in my head? And often, they don’t get answers until it's far too late.

How do I know if I'm being 'Banksyed'?

Ghosting is sudden. Banksying is subtle — and that’s what makes it so confusing. Here's how to spot the signs and what to do if you think it’s happening to you:

Texts feel off

Their replies go from thoughtful to the bare minimum. One-word answers, delayed replies, and less engagement become the new normal.

Plans keep getting rescheduled

They’re suddenly “busy” all the time. Dates get postponed. They cancel last minute, without rescheduling.

Affection fades

Compliments, physical intimacy, and emotional connection feel forced or absent.

You're always reaching out first

Conversations feel one-sided. You're initiating everything – texts, calls, plans – and they're just… reacting.

Gut feeling that something’s off

You sense the energy shift. It feels like they’re present but not really there.

And if you're being Banksyed then have an open conversation and ask for clarification.

So, the next time your partner seems distant for no reason over a long period, trust your instincts. You might be getting Banksyed. And remember: a healthy relationship includes clarity, communication, and respect, not just slow silence.