Pahalgam Attack: What If We Had Been There? — A Nation Grieves As Kashmir’s Pain Becomes Personal

Over the past few days, the whole of India’s heart is bleeding. A deep, unbearable sorrow has gripped the nation, leaving every citizen in shock, disbelief, and mourning. You want to wake up from this horrific nightmare, to believe it’s not real—but everywhere you look, the pain is undeniable. Wives sit beside the lifeless bodies of their husbands, their sobs echoing in the air. Helpless families hold onto their loved ones for the last time, their cries filled with anguish. The streets are filled with silence, yet somehow, the echoes of loss are deafening.

The wounds left behind are not just emotional; they are economic, social, and deeply psychological. The land that once thrived on tourism and hospitality is now struggling to stand. Businesses are in ruins, and families that depended on visitors for their livelihood are left staring at an uncertain future. What was lost in just a few moments will take years—perhaps lifetimes—to rebuild. And yet, amidst the pain, the people of Kashmir hold on to whatever little hope they can find, clinging to the possibility that someday, peace will return.

Maddam Sir’s S.H.O. Haseena Mallik, played by actress Gulki Joshi, captured the heartbreak in a single, powerful sentiment: “It’s impossible to stay sane and positive when the world is burning to ashes. Feel the pain, understand the brutal reality, and stay humble; the world does not need any more entitled pricks.” These words strike a deep chord. How do we understand this brutal reality and still hold on to kindness? How do we process the weight of such a tragedy without losing ourselves in despair?

This attack feels deeply personal. Even for those far away, the pain has reached them. A chartered accountant by profession, Yashdeep Shah was amongst those who have recently made a visit to Kashmir. Post the attack, he found himself revisiting the photographs of the holiday, “The second I heard about the attack at mini-Switzerland, I found myself looking at all the pictures from our recent visit, we were there just a few weeks ago. And inadvertently the thought came about what would we have done had we been there, how would I have protected my family. All the memories of fun and laughter suddenly changed to dread because it was replaced by a feeling of a lucky-escape instead. All the memories from our family holiday suddenly got reduced to a feeling of melancholy.”

Everyone who has ever set foot in Kashmir, who has walked its snowy paths and felt the warmth of its people, feels this wound in their soul and perhaps thinking the same question — what would we have done?

As we struggle to answer these painful questions, we turn to a few voices of wisdom to understand how one can begin to move forward. Renowned celebrity psychiatrist Dr. Kersi Chavda shared his insights on coping with such devastation. “When you hear about a terror attack in your city, it’s normal to feel shaken. Take a moment to breathe deeply and ground yourself. Stick to verified news and don’t get lost in endless updates. Talk to people you trust—it helps to share what you’re feeling. It might also be useful not to keep endlessly watching news of the event. Let the authorities do their job. Don’t listen to rumours. Staying calm isn’t easy, but it’s the best thing you can do for yourself and others.”

His words offer a path forward. But when the wounds are this fresh, is it really possible to follow through? How do we find peace when our hearts are raging with grief and anger?

Television actress Hunar Ali shared her own way of coping, offering a more personal perspective. “In such situations, I practice gratitude and self-care. I immerse myself in constructive communication and respond practically to my surroundings. It’s important to set boundaries on your daily media intake; consider taking breaks from social media and news outlets to avoid being overwhelmed.”

Perhaps this is the answer—not forgetting, not ignoring the pain, but taking small steps toward healing. Television hostess and wellness coach, Sara Arfeen Khan too spoke about how she is dealing with the situation. She rightfully pointed out that, “Watching the news for awareness is important, but constantly consuming it can deeply affect your mental state especially when you feel helpless about the situation.” According to her the best way forward is to switch off after a point, “Say a prayer for those affected, and shift your focus to gratitude and contribution. Practising gratitude daily, reading a great book, binge watching a comforting series, or actively helping your community, even in small ways like distributing food, can ground you and protect your mind from being overwhelmed.”

As we struggle to find meaning in this brutality and chaos, we must hold on to the things that keep us human—compassion, resilience, and the hope that tomorrow will be better. The road to healing is long. The scars may never fully fade. But as long as we remember, as long as we continue to fight for peace and justice, we honour those we have lost.

Published on: Sunday, May 04, 2025, 08:45 AM IST