From Foreskin Infections To Forced Intimacy: Expert Tips For Couples In Crisis

I am a 36-year-old man. There is some infection in my foreskin because of which I am reluctant to have intercourse with my wife. Please advise. HJ, Mankhurd

Foreskin infections are common. The solution for this is to daily pull the foreskin back while bathing, and clean with soap and water. If possible do this twice a day, morning while bathing and before going to bed as well, at least for a week. Feel free to have intimacy but avoid intercourse, else you will transfer the infection to your wife. Kindly check your blood sugar levels. Consult a dermatologist if the problem persists.

My 65-year-old husband has a violent temper. He virtually rapes me if I refuse to sleep with him. What should I do? I am willing to file a police complaint. Please advise. KB, Andheri

You need not bear with this. Since how long have you been suffering? Is this a new pattern with him? Is he on any medication? You need to meet a psychiatrist, if you feel the change in his temper and may need medical assistance. If there’s nothing medically, you can surely file a complaint as you need to protect yourself. Speak up for yourself, or it is like killing yourself. You have to take care of yourself first.

All of a sudden my 39-yearold wife has turned to spirituality. She now regards sex as sin. I am frustrated. Please guide me. AR, Khar

Sex is considered sin in many religious lectures. Some basic beliefs about sex – ‘dirty’, ‘sin’ – are ingrained during early childhood growth. Coming in contact with some spiritual leaders triggers this deep-seated belief. Spirituality can be viewed as a personal journey that may enhance physical intimacy. Some traditions, like ‘tantra’, view sex as a path to spiritual awakening, while others see it as ‘sin’. Maintain simple care and concern, giving time to your wife with patience.

She should be given space to explore her feelings without being rushed or judged. Meet and get guidance from a spiritual leader or a counsellor who will provide a balanced perspective on the relationship between spirituality and sexuality within your specific religion. You can consult a sexologist or a psychotherapist, who can talk with her, listen to her and explain to her the importance of intimacy in married life.

Dr Hetal Gosalia, Samadhan Health Studio. Queries may be sent to fpj.sexmatters@gmail.com