Celebrating Power Of Female Friendships This Valentine’s Day: Men Might Care, But Women Just Know—The Stories Of Emotional Fluency And More

As I woke up to a lousy, lousy morning on this Valentine’s Day, carrying the burden of falling in love and making someone fall in love with me, a bouquet of roses was quietly waiting for me at the doorstep. And while I cribbed about the futility of love, a note with the bouquet held me strong. It said, “If a guy doesn’t do it, I will.” It was sent by my girl best friend who stays far.

Well, this is a made-up scenario. My closest girl, who I refuse to call my bestie because of the clichés, stays far in Mumbai and must be taking a metro to her office as I write this. So, well, not the flowers, but a wonderful reel on friendship did reach me on Instagram, cuddling me up on this day of love as I sit and crib about being single.

Perhaps this is our modern "Soi Patano," a custom that Bengali ladies have long used to strengthen their friendships. The "sois," or buddies, used pet names to refer to one another. They became confidantes, sent letters to one another, gave each other small gifts, developed inside jokes. This was their private, intimate, and safe place in a society that was dominated by men.

With years of seeing men and their wonderful friendships on screen, we grew up parallelly watching something on screen that we rarely experienced in our lives about our female friends. As much as we celebrated the bond of friendship between men, we talked little about the bond of love between two women that strengthens them.

Female friends in our lives are the strong force that pushes us to finish the days, weeks, months, and years. So on this Valentine’s Day, before you crib about the vacuum in your life, let me fill up that space with the beautiful stories of female friendships shared by girls from across the country.

'Female friendships are like a diary that talks back'

As Dhea, a media person based in Mumbai, spoke with us about the bond of friendship between women, she said that female friendships are like a diary that talks back—sometimes with comforting words, sometimes with brutal honesty, but always with love.

"There’s a rhythm to it, an unspoken understanding that men, no matter how well-intentioned, often miss. It’s why, even in love, even in marriage, women turn to their female friends—not for validation, but for a kind of emotional fluency that feels effortless," she added.

As she narrated an incident when nothing felt right and she walked into work with a heavy heart, trying to push through, her friend at work caught on instantly.

"She didn’t pry or push—she quickly went on Zomato and got me a cup of my favorite hot chocolate and took me out for a walk. As we stepped outside, I finally let it out. She listened, really listened—not just nodding along but actually hearing me out. She didn’t try to downplay what I was feeling or rush to fix things. Instead, she reassured me in the way only a woman could—acknowledging what I was going through while also reminding me that I’m worth so much more and that I’d be okay. And sometimes, it doesn’t hurt to hear this once in a while, does it?" asked Dhea.

That small moment made all the difference for her because in her words, "Men might care, but women just know—how to show up, how to listen, and how to make you feel understood without you even having to explain too much."

'Boyfriends and girlfriends are gonna come and go, but this is for life'

We often get ourselves caught in mesh of emotions, and a girl walks in and untangles it. That’s when we wonder why it is so easy with them and not with romantic counterparts. Because, girls, this goes beyond romance as Phoebe Buffay rightly said, "Boyfriends and girlfriends are gonna come and go, but this is for life."

For 31-year-old Monali Awasarmal, her girls are her life. As she spoke on the "futility" of love, she said, "While the romantic counterparts and relationships keep disappointing, I have my girls who never do. It is very essential to have a friend, while the issues of the backdrop keep changing, to stand strong. I have a friend named Akshata; she has always been there through thick and thin, she has seen me grow. Guys came and went, but she was always there. She never lets me treat a guy as the center of my life."

'Female friendships are like home'

For Swati, who stays in Pune, her female friendships are like home—a place where she can be herself without the need to explain or pretend anything.

"A place where we don’t need to explain ourselves yet feel completely understood, a place where we feel heard and valued. Women generally have the ability to notice the small things—a change in tone, a pause in a text, or a silence that says everything. As we grow older, this understanding only gets deeper and stronger. Friendships are not just about hanging out together or sharing secrets and gossip anymore; they become a space where we support each other through the ups and downs of life. Even if we don’t talk every day or see each other often, the bond stays the same. One call, one conversation, and it feels like no time has passed. This kind of love never fades," she added.

Speaking about romantic relationships, Swati said, "Romantic relationships don’t always have the same deep connection or offer the same emotional depth. Very often, feelings and emotions get sidelined in the name of rationality or problem-solving. Women don’t just want love; they want to be felt, heard, and understood without having to explain every little thing. That’s why, even when in romantic relationships, women turn to their female friends—the ones who just get them, who listen, and who don’t need reasons to care. In the end, no matter what happens in life, female friendships are a love story of their own—one that stays forever."

Romantic relationships vs female friendships

When asked if romantic love is futile, Roma, a Pune-based research analyst and another woman who cherishes her female friendships and takes them very seriously, said, "Not at all. Love has changed my perception toward life, and it does give me hope and reason (one of the many) to live."

When she reflected on whether female friendships resolve her life problems, she said, and let me quote, "Hell, yes."

"Yes, it’s true that my partner may not understand my problems the way my female friends do," she added.

She also narrated a story of how her friends stood strong by her side when she needed them ahead of her periods when it was getting heavy, particularly when she found herself lonely and missing her partner, who was settled 150 km away. One dinner with her besties, she said, resolved the stress.

'Female friendships are fulfilling mentally, emotionally, and spiritually'

And while the commercial cinema missed the bond we share with our girls, Rabindranath Tagore definitely did not when he wrote, "Toder acche moner kotha, amar acche koi?" (You both have words of the heart, I do not) as he yearned to have the same bond with his wife as he saw his wife, Mrinalini Debi, and her close friend deep in conversation with each other.

Vasundhara Katkar, a brand manager, who stays in Mumbai, said, "Female friendships are fulfilling mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. There is an unspoken bond. It is like you water them, and they water you."

However, she added that it is not fair to compare female friendships with romantic relationships as men are fulfilling in different ways, and we do need men in our lives.

"With women, it is an equal partnership, while in romantic relationships, we tend to lessen our standards. We should work on that and, where we are not getting the equal partnership, we should stop. So instead of looking down upon romantic relationships and love, we need to set standards of our female friendships as the bars for choosing a partner," added Vasundhara as she reflected on the importance of romantic relationships.

For Lavina, a techie who stays in Bengaluru, her girlies are always there for her and have always been very supportive. "But on the other hand, my husband is my strength, and I can depend on him for anything and everything, and he makes me believe in the infallibility of love," added Lavina.

'Place of solace'

For Shreoshi, who stays in Kolkata, female friendships are precious, and they have kept her at ease and grounded through the years.

"A popular notion does the circle: A woman is good in all her relations except as a friend. Thankfully, that has been proven wrong on so many levels in my case. Time and again, I have been able to reach out to my friends, and they always have been a place of solace. We can speak female anything and everything under the sun, starting from asking for a safety pin to discussing financial investments, from heartaches to health issues—you name it, and we have talked about it. Of course, it's not all that hunky-dory, there have been differences and irrational behaviors on our part, but we have taken time to sort it out and let the 'ship' sail smoothly," she added.

Rutuja Bhosale, currently pursuing higher studies in Northern Ireland, often finds herself missing her close-knit group of friends back in Pune. Despite the physical distance, their bond remains strong, with the girls always supporting one another through regular calls and video chats. Reflecting on the power of female friendships, Rutuja credits her growth and sense of self to one special friend.

She recalls her first friendship, forged in class 9, with fondness. “I was an insanely introverted person, always doubtful of myself, while she was an extrovert and carefree. Over time, she helped me break out of my shell and taught me the most important lesson—accepting myself. If it weren’t for her, I’d have been a completely different and incomplete person,” Rutuja shared.

This bond, though tested by time and distance, stands as a testament to the profound impact of female friendships in shaping who we are.

So, as we celebrate love today, let’s not forget that in a world where everything else feels uncertain, our girl gang remains the constant that helps us find ourselves when we lose our way. These friendships go beyond the temporary highs of romance, offering a deep, unshakeable bond that keeps us grounded.

Here’s to the women who lift us, challenge us, and make this journey worthwhile. You are the ones who help us realize that we don’t need anyone else to complete us—because we are already whole. You’ve been there through thick and thin, showing us that the love we seek outside has always been within, in the form of sisterhood. With you by our side, we find the strength to move forward, knowing that the love we have for ourselves and for each other is enough to keep us going, no matter what.

This Valentine’s Day, let’s raise a toast to these beautiful friendships that hold us up, nurture us, and remind us that we are worthy of love in every form.