How I Met My Partner: It Was Love At First Sight For Vandana And Neeraj Pathak

Even today, after so many years of marriage they have a lot to say to each other. She says,”We still speak to each other 4-5 times in a day while working."

How and when did you meet Neeraj?

I met Neeraj in drama college, Ahmedabad, he was a year senior to me. He says he saw me in the library first -- a girl in jeans and top, wearing stilettos and sporting long hair. A Gujarati girl who spoke pure Hindi. It was love at first sight.

What was the icebreaker?

I had leadership qualities. One day our professor asked me to take care of the improvisation class. It was Neeraj’s first day. I would call him Pathak, and I asked him to come up on stage. That was the first time I spoke with him, he was quiet and shy.

Which qualities of his are you attracted to?

He is nice, hard-working, honest and respectful.He doesn’t try to impress you with his style. Neeraj was unlike the other boys, he was very focused.

Who took the initiative to get to know each other?

Of course it was me.

Where did you guys go for your first date?

There was no date as such ... we were very good friends, we became very close friends. We were a part of a group of four close friends who would share tiffins and hang out. We were studying in two colleges -- morning was science college and afternoon was drama college. In between we would go for tea and some dal wada since we didn’t have much money.

Who said I love you first?

He said I love you first.

Who proposed marriage?

He said: I don’t believe in time pass, I want to marry you. I was shocked because I was in first year of college and he was in second year. I told him I haven’t thought about it, please give me time. But I knew in my heart that Neeraj was like me. Only, I was very talkative and he was very quiet.

Did you guys face any opposition to your marriage?

In our final year of college we told our parents. So we got engaged and after four years we got married. His family loved me and from my side also there was no opposition.

How it happened is a little filmy. He was working in my dad's production house so my dad knew him and his family. When we were going to a puja in his house, my dad told me that I have seen a good boy for you. I was shocked and objected. He told me at least see the boy’s photograph, but I refused. Finally, my father asked me if I liked someone and I got the courage to tell him about Neeraj. He put the photo in my hand ... and it was Neeraj’s photo.

Who apologies first after a fight ?

I become very quiet, main rooth jaati hoon so he says: ‘Okay chal sorry. I don’t like to prolong the fight.’

The beautiful part is that in our earlier days when we had a fight, Neeraj would bring a rose and say sorry so this he would do manav me.

Who is the spendthrift between the two?

Neeraj spends more than me. I keep him in check.

How has the relationship changed from the time you were girlfriend-boyfriend to wife-husband and now parents?

It’s not the relationship that changes it is the priorities. First we were just two of us and we would talk so much about each other. When we got married we would talk about our work besides ourselves, and plan our future. Now life revolves around our children: when Neeraj comes home from work he asks: What did the kids do today?

But we still speak to each other 4-5 times in a day while working.

Love for me is:

An emotion where so many things are not said ... he will just hold my hand or I will put my head oh his shoulder. He understands my feelings and vice versa without expressing it in words since we have been together for so many years. Bina kahe sab kuch keh dena woh pyaar hai.

Published on: Saturday, August 09, 2025, 09:00 PM IST